


no hell in what we've found

by byeolbit



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, fantasy / supernatural, gradually developing relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23078746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byeolbit/pseuds/byeolbit
Summary: Millenia ago, Hongbin fell from grace. Centuries ago, Hakyeon fell in love with a human. The two angels had nothing in common, or so Hongbin thought.
Relationships: Cha Hakyeon | N & Lee Hongbin, Cha Hakyeon | N/Lee Hongbin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21
Collections: Intoxicating 1.5 - Bingo





	no hell in what we've found

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer - Not meant to be a debate on philosophy/theology or reflect real religious views. Derives inspiration from Enochian angelology but is purely fictional.
> 
> Written for the prompt - An old manor, creaking floors and two fallen angels happen to find one another, to reminisce each the reason of their fall. And they may have more in common than they would think, or so Hakyeon wants to believe.

Where do fallen angels go once they fall out of the sky? What happens to their powers and identities once disgraced and pushed out of the upper echelons of heaven?

It's a question humans don't have an answer to. After all God created angels to be righteous and hold virtue in the highest regard. They aren't meant to be flawed like humans were.

Angels simply do not fall, theologists will tell you. God loves his children and is merciful and forgives them for mistakes if any made. Mistakes which simply were destined all along.

Hongbin will tell you a different answer though. He will tell you of a less benevolent God. One who didn't love all his children. One who wasn't just. One who didn't follow his own principles of forgiveness.

One who pushed him out of heaven for the actions that one wouldn't even consider a crime.

He loved humans, didn’t he? Hongbin had given them the gift of writing to enable their progress. For them to learn and share their wisdom. But he had been accused of giving them the tools to lie and sin and kicked out of heaven for it. God was not as benevolent as those who worshipped him believed.

Where do snowflakes go after they have fallen to the ground and their ice dissipated into the crevices of the earth? One might say they are lost forever, their identities and significance lost once they fall out of the sky.

Fallen angels are similar. Once kicked out of heaven in disgrace, they simply fade into the unknown dark corners of the earth. Their names are stuck from memory of the earthen creatures and overtime all legends and myths lost for insignificant gods.

And so Hongbin wandered the earth, lost without purpose. Cursed with immortality as a consequence of his divine birth. He was free of his divine duties, absolved of his divine responsibilities and his significance slowly phased out of the mythology of humans.

-

The last thing Hongbin expects is company. The floorboards creak but Hongbin does not need sound to be alerted to his new company. He senses the angel’s energy much before he sees the celestial in question. 

It’s the who that surprises him.

“It’s been a few centuries” Hakyeon says in a manner of greeting. 

His tone is cautious. Hongbin is a stronger, older angel and his station would require deference if they were in heaven now. He supposes that none of that matters anymore now that both of them are disgraced and happening across each other in this old manor on the earthly realm. A manor Hongbin specifically chose so that no living thing would dare enter and interrupt him.

“It has” Hongbin agrees. The broken windchimes on the window sway with the breeze but make no sound. The vine tendrils that have started to creep up along the sill move too.

“What are you doing here?”

-

Why do angels fall?

If you ask Hakyeon this question, he will simply smile at you. His smile is neither sad nor bittersweet. His smile is knowing. Because Hakyeon knows why angels fall.

Centuries ago, Hakyeon fell in love with a human. 

Tasked to watch over humanity and protect them, it was not uncommon for angels to become attached to humans. There were many instances of blessings feely given. There were whispers among humans of angels who came to the children and the truly good at heart, who gave them wisdom in the form of word of God and guided them on their spiritual journeys straight to heaven.

However no one had expected an angel to fall in love with one. However with the benefit of hindsight, Hakyeon would argue that God had created angels to be virtuous and love all his creations. Was this development then really a surprise to those who understood God’s true motive?

It was hard not to love Jaehwan. Hakyeon had met him when he was barely nineteen winters old. He had been very young by the standard of time for humans but Hakyeon had recognized an enthusiasm for life that had far outmatched other humans.

Jaehwan was always curious. He wanted to know how birds flew and why the sun only appeared for a few hours in the day. Why did the stars change positions over time and why did they return? What were the bright shooting objects across the sky? Were they really stars falling? What held them up in place then?

Hakyeon had never intended to indulge him. Humans were a curious lot but it was their destiny to figure out divine mechanisms of the universe over millennia. But Jaehwan’s eyes were irresistible and Hakyeon found his resolve weakening.

Jaehwan never truly believed him of course. Why, Hakyeon had the air of a madman with his outlandish ideas and surely he was crazy and would be locked up for the heretical ideas that went against everything the village priest said. And yet his ideas made sense if Jaehwan thought about them and his intellectual curiosity could not dismiss them entirely. Over time, Jaehwan had fallen in love with his other qualities.

Then one fateful day, Hakyeon had divulged his true origins.

God didn’t take this interruption to his plans kindly. Hakyeon had fled, fearful for his lover’s life and had taken Jaehwan with him into hiding. Years had passed in the same frenzied state till Jaehwan had fallen ill and passed on. His soul had gone to heaven, despite his sin of corrupting Hakyeon and Hakyeon had been left alone.

Outcast from heaven and left to his own devices with diminished power, he had resigned to staying on earth.

“Why do angels fall?” he would repeat your question thoughtfully as he rubbed his chin. “It’s because we were always destined to, dearest.”

-

“What are you doing here?”

Hongbin knows Hakyeon. He knows of the foolish celestial who abandoned heaven for the sake of humans, having learnt nothing from Hongbin’s own suffering. A tragedy but Hongbin finds no pity in him for it. He has long forsaken empathy as he is under no divine obligation to do good. Why should he, when all it has ever led to is misery?

Hongbin hates how this cycle of bitterness repeats every time he meets another celestial. They remind him of everything he once was and everything he lost. Heaven was home once and although Earth is home now he knows he doesn’t belong. Even if he represses the longing to be back home and in God’s good graces, meeting another celestial often deepens the wound.

You’d think that he’d find solace in Hakyeon’s company but all he has is resentment for the angel who willingly abandoned his home. His bitterness is apparent but Hakyeon looks past it and he hates that even more. Hakyeon looks at him with kindness and understanding and he completely absolutely despises it.

“The last of Jaehwan’s descendents died a few days ago” Hakyeon tells him.

Jaehwan’s family succeeds him after his death and Hakyeon appoints himself their protector. Over centuries, Hakyeon always checks in, careful never to give himself away or alert suspicions in those surrounding them. The bloodline has lasted longer than expected even under the protection of an angel, Hongbin thinks.

“You protected them all this while?” Hongbin asks, already knowing the answer. 

Hakyeon nods in response anyways. He approaches the elder and sits down next to him on the staircase that Hongbin has been sitting on. The wood is old but fortified and holds up well under their weight.

“It felt like the right thing to do. I don’t feel sad. I feel at peace now” Hakyeon tells him.

“What will you do now?” Hongbin asks. He isn’t curious but silence is an incredibly awkward option. He knows that Hakyeon doesn’t have an answer for him.

“I do not know” Hakyeon replies truthfully.

“When you left heaven” Hongbin starts before stopping and correcting himself. “When you knew you loved your human, you knew he wouldn’t live long. Neither would his sons and daughters if he had any. You didn’t have eternity together.”

“I knew that” Hakyeon affirms. “You are wondering why I did it anyways.”

“Not at all. You’re going to give me some crap about love being eternal and I don’t particularly fancy listening to that right now” Hongbin says gruffly. He plays with the cuffs of his sleeves and watches the sun sink lower and lower in the sky till it almost kisses the horizon. Hakyeon says nothing, both angels simply existing as they have over the many moments they have been alive.

“We’re not so different, you know” Hakyeon says ending the long moment. “We both did what we thought was right and suffered disproportionately for it.”

“Loving a human could never be right” Hongbin speaks from experience. He may not have loved one individually but he has been disillusioned from the charms of attachment to the species.

“Angels were made to love all of God’s creations equally.”

“A fatal flaw in the grand design I’m sure.”

“How long will you spend in misery and abhorrence of those around you?” Hakyeon asks him. The younger angel is close to snapping but so is Hongbin.

“How long is forever?”

Hakyeon and Hongbin stare at each other. Hakyeon’s gaze softens first and Hongbin turns away. He truly does hate Hakyeon's kind eyes and any expression of sympathy they offer.

“You know, I hate it when you do that. I’m not a wayward soul that needs to be guided back to the light. I was put here by His own design and I know there is no forgiveness or redemption left for me.”

“You don’t have to be redeemed” Hakyeon says softly. “You did no wrong. You shouldn’t have to suffer for it.”

“And what do you suggest? That I go and beg God’s forgiveness at heaven’s door and hope for the best?”

“I don’t think we can. There’s no going back for us, for better or for worse”

Hakyeon's words are like a final nail in a coffin. Hongbin doesn't realize that he has held out hope till he watches the ember be doused by cold reality.

"What is the use of eternity when it has no meaning then?" Hongbin thinks out loud. 

The meaning of life is a question he has seen humans debate. But they have the benefit of mortality to give their lives meaning. They may pass from this realm fulfilled or unfulfilled but can rest assured in the knowledge that they will go. What do immortals like him look forward to?

"We could make one together" Hakyeon offers. Meanings are destined but meanings are also arbitrary. Hongbin and Hakyeon are free to choose what happens now. So why not choose to live with a purpose?

"Did you come here seeking company for your foolish plans?" Hongbin wonders. Loneliness has been a constant companion for so many centuries. Voluntary company makes Hongbin wary.

"Not really but some company would be nice I suppose" Hakyeon says. He never expected Hongbin to grant him audience and never thought about getting this far. Hakyeon thinks it is a rare miracle that will never repeat again.

"And what if we find nothing? No cause to live for and nothing worth dying for?"

"Well we're already damned. At least we'll be together." 

Hakyeon isn't wrong but he is terribly naive. Hongbin knows that it doesn't work that way better than anyone else. "I grow tired of this world Hakyeon. I've been here for thousands of years, watching the same sunrise and same sunset. I've watched the worlds realign and high seas move around them. It has nothing to offer me."

"Watch them once again with me" Hakyeon says. "Watch the seas move again and watch the sun rise and set and clouds move across the sky once again with me."

"Why did you come looking for me Hakyeon? I'm not the only fallen angel you've chanced across" Hongbin says.

"I don't know any of the others like I know you" Hakyeon says simply. He moves closer to Hongbin till their knees touch and places his hand on his knee. "How did you think I knew to come here to find you?"

In what might truly be forever, Hongbin feels the tug of hope. It's treacherous and will surely doom him. He has learnt never to trust his own heart. But the idea of company after living solitary for centuries takes firm root.

Despite the uncertainty of it all, Hongbin doesn't find it in himself to say no. So he exhales and let's Hakyeon put his head on his shoulder and talk about mundane things like how the tendrils of vines wrapped around the window sill are ready to bloom.

-


End file.
